I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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