it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
