We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
