Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
