i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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