My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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