She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
