omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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