what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
