Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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