hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
