I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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