I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
