I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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