i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
