Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
