You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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