Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
