its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize