My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
