You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
It's shark week go big or go home
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why are your pants in the freezer?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
