If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
