Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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