I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
