I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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