he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
