fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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