He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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