I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
