I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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