you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
