Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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