I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
