i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
