It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize