i was born a porn star she said
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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