Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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