Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
