Pappa wants mamma naked
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's rum buckets o'clock
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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