And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize