At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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