I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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