honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We are all done wearing pants today
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
