i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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