6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize