matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
