This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
