it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
