every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
