My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
