Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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