That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
