Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
