After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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