They should really pass out barf bags in church
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
