do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
40s are totally the cure
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
