Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
