so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
