I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
