I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
