Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
