I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
