That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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