I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
