I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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