9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
