he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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