I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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