just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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