i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
