I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
