i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
