that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
