On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
